Unwanted 21 Days

Have the bedroom talk – Reasons why you and your partner need sex education before marriage

It’s 2018, yet in India, discussing sex is still considered a taboo. Even urban couples in metros shy from talking openly about their sexual preferences, needs, likes and dislikes with their partner before they embark on the journey of marriage.

According to sex experts, the sooner a couple starts having healthy communication about their sexuality, preferences and expectations, it is better, not just for their sex lives, but their entire lives together as a couple.

Here are a few reasons why couples require sex education before marriage:

  1. Resolve anxieties

Very often, young individuals (both women and men) on the threshold of marriage are extremely anxious about their sexual life with their partner. Being anxious is normal and almost all engaged couples feel it.

By discussing sex openly with a trusted adult, or professional, you can resolve your anxieties. It gives you a clear picture of what to expect and dispels your fears and nervousness.

  1. Understand your partner’s views on sex

Engaged couples should have an open, honest talk about their individual sexual preferences and expectations. Start by asking each other what sex means to them personally. As you talk, you may realise that you and your partner don’t see eye-to-eye when it comes to sex. The reasons for these differences of views are plenty – differences in upbringing, religious influences, life experiences and more.

Finding out what your partner believes about sex and what you believe in, is the first step to negotiating and aligning your preferences for a happy, sexual life all through your marriage.

  1. Discuss contraceptives and birth control

In the heady whirlwind of your engagement, you may not have the time to discuss your future together as a couple. A discussion on sex before marriage provides an excellent opportunity to understand each other’s life goals, future plans and more.

Ask your partner what they think about children and whether you would like to start a family immediately after marriage or would like to wait for some time, so that you get to know each other better. Additionally, some couples do not wish to have children till they move up in their career, save for the kid, buy their first home or various other reasons.

By discussing all these before marriage, you can work together as a couple to find the right birth control options that work for both of you. For instance, many married couples don’t prefer using condoms as they find it a barrier while being intimate.

  1. Identify potential medical issues and get it resolved

One of the most important things to discuss before marriage is – sexual health issues. Most couples fail to think about it or talk about it. Check with your partner if they have a history of any STD or other potential sexual health problems like erectile dysfunctions and more. Unlike how couples think, most of these issues are easily treatable with the help of the right doctor.

By discussing all these sensitive issues before marriage and seeking the right course of action medically, you can prevent any potential problems and rifts from cropping up later.

  1. Understand sexual preferences and expectations

Only when you openly discuss sex with your fiancé or fiancée, you can find out their sexual preferences – what turns them on, what disgusts them, their fantasies and more. This knowledge paves the way for not only an adventurous and exciting sexual life but also one that nurtures the relationship and helps in establishing a deeper connection.

Final thoughts – Sex plays a crucial role in all marriages

By having an open discussion with your partner, you become closer to them in bed as well as in your day-to-day life. So, ladies and gentlemen, don’t shy from having sex discussions with your partner, before you walk the aisle. Remember the best discussions are the ones that ask the right questions and provide honest answers.


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