Unwanted 21 Days

Parenting: A chance or choice


Being a parent comes with a gamut of emotions. It is a learning journey throughout, at every phase of parenting. Raising a kid can be a wonderful experience but can also be daunting at the same time. Several couples today delay pregnancy until they are ready for parental bliss. Find out why postponing pregnancy and becoming parents by choice may be the best thing for young couples.


Parenting is a choice and should not be an obligation.

Not all couples are ready to take on the role of being parents as soon as they tie the knot. The reasons behind this decision could be because of external (financial, social and family) or individual constraints.

Discussing this issue openly is still considered controversial and radical in India. There are opposing views and firm beliefs from both sides of the debate. However, it’s essential that we consider and respect the opinions and rights of couples on either side of the argument.

Parenting by choice is not selfish

Contrary to popular societal assumptions and media narratives, couples who delay pregnancy till they are ready, are not selfish. Nor are they emotionally immature and too self-absorbed.

Very often, couples who delay pregnancy are considered too shallow and criticised by family and the society for being too absorbed in their own needs. They are considered irresponsible adults who are not willing to take the responsibility of raising a family.

Rather the opposite is true. Couples who postpone pregnancy until they are – emotionally, mentally and financially – ready to become parents are making a smart choice.

Here are the top benefits of planned parenthood

  • Parenting becomes mindful & purposeful

When you wait to become parents, both you and your partner are emotionally mature to raise a child. This makes your approach to parenting purposeful. You have various life experiences that you pass on to your child. You might miss out on these lessons if you were to become a parent earlier.

Additionally, couples who become parents by choice don’t look at parenting as an obligation. Instead, they welcome it openly. They start parenthood with complete knowledge of all the responsibilities it brings and are more than aware of parenting basics. What more, they are willing to embrace these responsibilities whole-heartedly, instead of just seeing it as a duty.

  • Financial stability

You have enough time to save for the baby. Raising a child is expensive – there are multiple factors to consider like day-to-day needs, baby furniture, dresses, schooling and other expenses as the kid grows up. When you hold off pregnancy, you can ensure that you have sufficient savings, before you begin parenthood.

You not only have the means to meet your child’s present needs but also have the financial security to meet your child’s future needs.

  • Career growth

There’s no denying the fact that parenting puts a pause on one’s career, especially for women. By consciously delaying parenthood, women can advance in their career in their 20s, instead of taking a break to raise children. This provides them with ample career choices and opportunities.

  • Parenting becomes less of a stress

Young parents are likely to be more stressed while raising a child. They are not aware of the physical and emotional changes parenthood brings. This takes a toll on their relationships as well as other aspects of parenting.

On the other hand, older parents who embrace parenthood by choice are likely to take a relaxed and laidback approach to parenting, as they have picked up key parenting skills by now.

  • More couple time

Marriage counsellors often suggest that couples enjoy some quality time with each other before taking the plunge into parenthood. It’s essential for couples to understand each other, work out how to co-raise a child, before planning a baby.

  • You know your priorities

When you are younger, it’s natural to be focussed on building a career, making money, saving for your home, car and other expenses, travelling and hanging out with friends. When you delay parenthood, you are ready to realign your priorities.

You give up on your other priorities willingly to provide your child with the right attention and care. Remember, children are not just another duty. Rather, they should be your priority.

Finally, keep in mind that parenthood is your choice

As a couple, remember that whatever time you choose to have a child, it’s your decision. Don’t be pressurised into making a choice when you aren’t ready. Don’t let others persuade you. Parenting tips and ideas that work for one couple may not work for others.

Make sure to become parents only when the time is right for both you and your partner and not under societal pressures.


Add comment

Follow Me

Don't be shy, get in touch. We love meeting interesting people and making new friends.